Are you someone who reacts instantly to a message/call and then realize you should have thought for a few moments and then responded?
Frankly, how often do you regret sending ‘that’ message without thinking?
For most of us, or perhaps me especially, there is an unwritten social contract that underlies our online messaging interactions. The clearest part of that contract is that certain types of messages demand a timely response. Over time our anxiety will increase until we hear that return chime – and all emotions can return quickly to normal levels.
In our world of instant communications, it seems we have come to expect that everyday conversations should be reflected in our online social communication, just as it would be when face-to-face. These kinds of expectations and the pressure to communicate virtually rather than face-face is both boon and bane imo. Some conversations can be solved through instant texts and at the same time some create problems due to these instant messages.
How many times have you been on a conference call and already had an idea to share, an answer to a question or solution to a problem before the person on the line has even finished his sentence?
Frankly, on these calls, instead of listening to conversation, our mind runs on what point we need to contribute to the meeting. The same listening skills and thought processes apply when a conversation turns sour and your defence needs to kick in when we start answering quickly without processing the thoughts.
One more thing is the inbuilt instinct to be clever/comical/ funny or whatever to show our prowess. Some sentences can catch you off guard, leaving you surprised and unable to form a clever comeback. Sometimes you think of the ultimate comeback — but two days later when you’ve had time to process and consider a few choice words. By then, it’s too late 😛
Ofcourse we are not chatbots- which reply instantaneously to all our queries irrespective of whether it’s right or wrong.
Perhaps we need a new type of online communication social contract, and let’s set these expectations at the beginning of a relationship, or any friendship. Thanks to read-receipts and their associated emotional impact, communication really has never been more complex and perplexing.
Magizhchi.
ganthegr8 